Sex God: Sexy On the Inside

14 Mar

Sexuality is Defined by Connectedness

“Some of the most sexual people I know are celibate.
They sleep alone.”p43

Bell starts off the chapter with a story of our longing for connection. We were created to connect. Adam was meant to connect with God. But even that wasn’t good enough. Adam was also meant to connect with Eve. We go through life wanting to find connections. A job that we value. A friend or two to hang out with at lunch. I’m guessing that this desire to connect is why women go to the restroom in packs. When we cannot connect it can be extremely painful. The person that is shy may be lonley by themselves but even lonelier in a crowd because they realize that they cannot connect.

He even mentions that we are disconnected with our creation. We are constantly doing things to cause it harm. We see commercials with cars that are in the mountains and along rivers but we drive it from our air conditioned house to our air conditioned work.

Sexuality, his claim, is our desire to connect with God, creation and each other. It may even have to do with intercourse but it is not limited to that. I should insert here that some critics of this book think that he has taken the word and stretched its meaning too much. You can be the judge of that.

This disconnection is how our story begins for those born “east of Eden.” After sin we become disconnected from God and we run, jump and hide in a bush. And the finger pointing begins as Adam points at God for giving him the woman and in a classic line he blames her giving him the fruit when he was silent the whole time the serpent spoke.

In Genesis 2:24 the two were to be so united that they were called “echad”. The Hebrew word “echad” means one. You did not know where one person ended and the other began. This is actually a description used of God. In Deuteronomy 6, the Shema, a prayer/statement of faith offered twice a day begins, “Hear O Israel, the LORD your God, the Lord is one (echad).” It is a mystery that the Father and Son and Spirit are “Echad”. A little simply concept we call the Trinity…which no one understands. While they are not identical we don’t know where the one ends and the other begins. Any book on the Trinity that neatly divides up their attributes does not seriously take not that God is “echad”.

In fact the way that we are to understand the idea of God being one is through marriage. It says in Ephesians 5 that the marriage between a man and wife is to be a reflection of God. A man and a wife are a prop. They are a picture of the gospel.

And with one bite of the fruit, the “echad” is shattered. And everything they could have been, the connection that was once there is shattered.

Church is often a sexless place. It is a place of disconnection and hurt. A people who reenact the garden. Who point the finger (or give the finger) at God and their neighbor.
“…we hurt each other
…we gossip about each other,
…we fail to forgive each other,
…we don’t do the work of making peace with each other,
…we get severed from each other, cut off, divided.”p45

He says when someone shares that they have been hurt by the church respond by asking them the name of the person. It is never the institution, it is an individual.

Bell end this very unorthodox chapter on sexuality with this story:

“The other day my five-year-old son asked my wife, “Mom, what does sexy mean.”
She thought about it for a second, and then replied, “Sexy is when it feels good to be in your own skin. You own body feels right, it feels comfortable. Sexy is when you love being you.”
Because it all starts with being sexy on the inside.


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